Stuck in the House on a Snow Day

     Meatloaf is in the oven, and I'm so glad! I have two hours before Paul usually gets home, but with all the mess out there I'm expecting him closer to 8. Rt 78 is always a wreck during storms. I asked him if he wanted soup or meatloaf, and since he wasn't getting back to me quick enough (impatient) I started meatloaf. As soon as I had poured everything over the meat including eggs he texted me back- "OOOoooh! Soup!"
  
     Figures. I don't use a recipe for meatloaf. So I always have my fingers crossed when its baking. Hope this is a good one!

     Yesterday Lily and I got out of the house so she could nap in the car (napping's been a problem lately) and we spent most of the day at Barnes & Noble, our new favorite place. I used to go there a lot, especially during the final weeks of my pregnancy but haven't been back since I thought it would be so hard with a baby. Yesterday was our second time there together, and she didn't get to enjoy it much because she slept the whole two hours I was there! First thing I did was get a coffee. Well, a Grande Mocha extra hot. It's been a while. While the barista was making my drink, I walked to the dessert case which was a mistake, but not a huge one since I didn't indulge. I love that word, indulge, its a word that is most likely used when you eat something you aren't supposed to eat- when you do something wrong- bad.. But its such a positive description! Love it. So as I was staring at the Godiva Fudge cupcakes I used to always get when I was pregnant and craving chocolate cupcakes, I notice they  now have cream puffs!! Ugh, something else to avoid. Who knows- maybe they're filled with pudding and not whipped cream  like I like- then I would never need to get one. Cream puffs are hard to come by! I've actually driven around with my mom for an entire day looking for cream puffs! There is an awesome restaurant in NJ -can't remember the name of it... that makes cream puffs and Eclairs that are HUGE. I recommend this place on a snowy day for a hot cup of soup and a bakery item.. Its just the cutest place! I'll get the name from Paul...   
     The Mocha was amazing, and the perfect treat for reading without a baby interruption. I was sitting in the children's department at a small picnic table just in case Lily woke up crying. It was perfect- I was all alone! I usually go there to read about design, decorating, cooking, or to find a women's devotional, but this time I was looking for The Thyroid Diet. and I found it, I sat and read it for over an hour and it was pretty helpful! After the bookstore, I drove to my in laws house, where I end up a lot lately. It's just nice to have people who are always welcome to have you and excited to hold the baby.

     The snow falling today has been so beautiful! I wish Lily was 6 already so we could have walked to someones house and had hot cocoa... Oh well- we tried our best to have fun at home. SO much fun in fact she wouldn't nap. I got her down twice and both times she woke up after 20 minutes or less. Finally put her in her carseat at 3:30 and she slept for an hour and a half. So weird how she can just sleep in that thing forever.  I wasn't planning on doing anything today so I just stayed in my pj's and didn't touch my hair or remove the eye makeup under my eyes. Then I got a call that schools were out early, my 14 yr old SIL didn't have keys to get in her house, so her neighbor drove her to mine. I got a chance to do dishes AND shower! Awesome. I did not put on makeup or do my hair. It's currently in a knot on top of my head. Like I said earlier, I made a meatloaf. It was that of hamburger soup which I never ever make but sometimes I just have  no ideas when all I have is ground meat. I'm going to have broccoli and baked potatoes. I usually like mashed potatoes with meatloaf, but I'm feeling baked. Plus its easy. Maybe once a week I'll post a recipe, and once a week I'll post design inspirations.. We'll see.

   Something else I'll be able to blog about soon- Paul and I were invited to help with The Terminal- our church's youth group. I'm a little nervous, not gonna lie, about being there as a role model, but I am excited to get to know more people and hopefully make some good friends out of the other leaders. It'll be Sunday nights, so hopefully Lily can adjust okay. She doesn't tend to do well at our evening church services so I hope this is different.

  Its now 6:00, Paul is officially closed, but hopefully that means he gets to leave too. I'm expecting his 50 minute commute to be more like 2 hours. No one was ready for all the snow and ice we've gotten. My plan is to let Lily finish playing in her exersaucer, feed her oatmeal and peas.. Weird combo.. Then its bathtime, book, and BED! Afterwards will be American Idol. My winter show that gets me through the hump of January-April.

  So long farewell!

God's love is deeper.

     Today was such a wonderful day! I didn't have any real plans but it was made perfect because of my husband. Sometimes he has these moments where he just knows what would be best for me.

     I had a rough night of itches again, and he needed sleep badly because he's been pretty sick, so I ended up spending half the night on the couch so he could sleep. Thankfully he did take today off to recuperate. Well Lily woke me up a couple times... the last one being around 5 am, and she wasn't interested in eating, sleeping- nothing. Of course this irritated me, probably too much. Well at 5 am he took her from me and I slept until 8am!! I said - "what did u guys do for 3 hours?" They came walking into the bedroom with a huge grin on his face and she looked happy too! He told me all he had done to keep her entertained-LOTS of Baby Einstein. And it didn't stop there people! He had done all the dishes, made coffee, and then offered me french toast! What in the world. This was HIS sick day. Not mine! But he said he knew I would need help this morning, so I'm in love with him all over again.

     The day just got better from that point on. Its amazing what a good morning will do for you. "Rise and shine and give God the Glory!" Talked to the Endocrinologist today.. He's going to lower my dose but first he wants me to stop taking it altogether and get on Benadryl to get rid of the itching fits for good. I took it 1 1/2 hours ago and still itching and no drowsiness.. Is it even working?

     Lily was such a doll today. She took a nap right after Paul brought her to me at 8am, and then again a little later when we went to Walmart. We're supposedly getting a lot of snow this week, but now I think the forecast is changing. I bought the eggs and milk we would need anyhow. We've gotten quite a bit of snow this winter except all at little intervals. I'm ready for one big downpour so everyone gets stuck at home. :o) While Lily was in bed tonight, I started thinking about how she's my daughter. So surreal. Thought about how when I was little I used to hear my parents enjoying each others company without us girls, and hear the tv shows change to commercials.. I loved the hum of the tv even when I wasn't included. It was a homey sound. I think I realize that more than I did then. I can't wait until Lily thinks like this. I'm in no rush for her to grow up, but I can't wait to have conversations with her. I love her so much.. I hope she realizes it one day.

      For a while now all this mother/daughter bonding has really made me appreciate my mother. I know they say this happens to every woman when they have a baby, but do I tell Mom that I love her enough? I say it to Lily several times a day, miss her when I'm in bed and she's been sleeping for 5 hours...cry sometimes because I just want to pick her up and kiss her little head... My mother had to be like this with me and my sisters, right? You just don't understand the love she had and still has for you until you go through it yourself. It makes me want to just pour out my love to her because she loves me as much as I love Lily. And that's amazing to me.

     I am trying to live off this kind of love now, rather than worrying about clothes, and furniture, etc.  I need to be able to be content with what God has given me. I remember when I was trying to have a baby (all of 2 months... felt like f.o.r.e.v.e.r.) I finally told myself "just be content!" and that's when we found out I was pregnant. The Lord blesses those who wait upon Him. I've been blessed so much.

No matter how much our husbands love us, or we has mommies love our babies, His love is deeper.

 

I've got the itch...

     Okay still getting the hang of this. Sorry about the previous post. I wrote it Saturday afternoon but never posted it.

     Last night was the worst night of sleep I've gotten since Lily was a newborn. It wasn't even Lily's fault. I have a disease called Grave's Disease (GD), which I discovered sometime after Christmas. Basically, my immune system has decided to attack my thyroid causing it to create more Thyroid hormone than it needs to. So I'm on methimazole, one of two Anti-thyroid meds most doctors prescribe. Well, this drug is driving me bananas! At first all my side effects of the disease disappeared, but now I have a side effect from the meds- ITCHING.  Like nothing ever before. I hate it. As if being a scab picker as a kid wasn't enough, now I scratch the crap outta my legs at night until hives appear. Actually I haven't figured out yet if the hives appear before or after scratching. When I first experienced the itching I thought I could handle it, but not anymore! I was scratching for 7 hours yesterday until I finally fell asleep after researching alternative medicine. Some doctors think its not really a thyroid problem as much as an auto-immune problem. So if my lifestyle and choices have caused my immune system to go outta whack, maybe I can change that? Through diet, exercise, and anti thyroid drugs I may be able to put my GD into remission for quite a while. So I have quite a few life style changes to make.

     I've got to cut out stress, anxiety, and nervousness. I can be very uptight so I know this is going to be hard for me. I'm also pretty lazy, but this is not going to become a "Debbie-Downer" blog, so let's try to focus on the positive! :o) Here's the list of changes I've come up with:

De stress through Yoga
NO caffeine
No alcohol
No white pasta, white bread, sugar, or processed foods
More veggies and fruits
Staying away from Cruciferous veggies such as broccoli, cabbage, soy beans (thyroid inhibiting foods)
Lower intake of fatty foods
Drink Dandelion Root tea 2x a day

     This just sounds like something everyone should do, and there are nothing but pros that could come from following this list.  But I will not be able to survive on these meds if this doesn't work! The Doc's plan is to lower my meds as he sees my thyroid regulating and that takes time. So it will be a while until I'll actually get to see if these changes will keep it regulated.

   So tonight my plan is to take a sleeping pill.    
                              

 

     Paul just left for the gym, Lily's playing on the couch (don't worry, she's less than 10 ft away and has pillows all around her.  Besides, she hasn't even rolled over yet), and I am eating ice cream. Well, it's a granola frozen yogurt sandwich but I still feel guilty! I guess I think eating a dessert at 4:57 pm, before dinner, is glutinous. I'll just blame it on the way I was raised and continue to eat it. :o)

     Just a quick post of Lily today while I was shopping. She's getting so big it's hard to fit groceries around her now without her legs getting in the way. She fell asleep hugging the elephant which is her new favorite toy.

   

What Hobbies??

          I'm not a writer, never have been, but its the middle of winter and we have about, I'd say, a total of  6 inches outside with ice chips here and there, so being a SAHM at this time of year means getting totally bored with your surroundings. I always thought "I will be a great Mom- I will be happy to clean! I'll be happy to pay the bills!"    
          Yeah.  
          Not so much.
          So I decided to start this blog!
        
         A couple things encouraged me.. one of which was more of a guilt trip I created for myself. First, I've been engrossed in a blog that was recommended to me at the beginning of December: The Gift of Rachel's Life. It's written by Rachel's Mom. I cry almost every day when I read it. But they are usually good tears. I want everyone in the whole world to read that blog!  http://www.thegiftofrachelslife.blogspot.com/
       
         Second, (this is the guilt trip one) Jon, a friend of my husband, who we hang out with pretty often invited us over for dinner one night to his new townhouse. Lily, my 4 month old daughter, was not a happy camper that night but I had no idea what to cook for dinner because I had no food in the house so the invite couldn't have come at a better time! She was asleep when we got to Jon's, but woke up pretty soon thereafter. While I was pacing around the house, Jon, who can I just say is such a genuinely nice person, asked how life at home with Lily is, I just said the same old everyday response of "Good!" The next thing he asked me really made me want to laugh out loud. "So- are you doing anything new? Start any new hobbies?"

       Okay first of all, I understand there are probably some amazing moms out there, who have their babies on such a timely schedule that they DO have time for new hobbies. But not this Mom.

       I just shook my head No, and Paul pointed to Lily, to explain to this bachelor that SHE is my hobby. My one and only. And I love that! But anyway long story short (which you'll learn is very hard for me), I felt embarassed and guilty. I thought - just because I take care of a "high maintenance" 4 month old and a crazy dog, who I forgot to mention earlier, doesn't mean I should have nothing to speak of! So I'll just write about everything and then maybe that will force me to actually do something with my time.

      With all this said, my first and most important job while I am home is taking care of Lily. She may have just woken up from her nap so I doubt I'll get to write more. Overtime I plan on getting my thoughts a lot more organized so I apologize if you all think this is a mess. Like I said- I'm not a writer. I am a perfectionist but I don't have the patience to perfect this skill.

  Later I will tell you what this blog will hopefully reflect about me- my Christianity, my family, and my dreams!